Avoidance , Avoidance, Avoidance!

That's my way of coping with Christmas stress; I deny the fact that it's coming for as long as I can. I avoid shopping in stores I know are Christmas targets. If I have to go to the mall, I go in the middle of the day, in the middle of the week (I can do this because I'm spoiled by the fact that I'm a SAH mom). If I can help it I try to avoid rush hour traffic (which in this area seems to last about three hours on each end of the day). I used to try to deny my child his Santa Clause, "Sure Santa exists, but he's really just a person whose job is to spread holiday joy. Mommy and Daddy are the ones who get your presents." But damn those kids and their insistence on believing in the most unrealistic myths. And most importantly, I wait until the absolute last second to buy presents. I can often be found putting the finishing touches on wrapped gifts on the way to our destination, having to witness them being torn apart by greedy kids 10 minutes later.

I don't think this is really useful information for anyone. It's probably more depressing, but that's my method. I don't know where my hatred of Christmas comes from, but I'm sure working at the mall four Christmases in a row while I was in college had something to do with it. Basically, I have an extreme aversion to all the gift giving and greediness. In our culture Christmas seems to have become a holiday of over-consumption. Unfortunately I can avoid it for only so long. Eventually it comes to my house.

Like many other people, we long ago stopped exchanging gifts with the adults in the family. Currently it's only the kids. And when Jacob was born I create the one gift rule. There are three sets of grandparents, a set of great aunt and uncle, five aunts and uncles (along with cousins) who buy presents for Jacob. One present per family unit is more than enough for our son, but for some reason, a few of the aforementioned choose to flat out ignore our wishes. I just got word that a certain family member (unrelated to me) is bringing five gifts for Jacob this year. That kind of disrespect for our values fills me with something more akin to rage than holiday cheer. They think we have no right to tell them how many gifts they can get for our son.

Ouch, sorry to be such a grump. Like I said, I don't have any answers. If anyone has any idea how to get the 'people' to stop over-gifting I would love to hear some ideas!

re: Sanity Savers???

Hmmm - this is a challenging one. I mean, this is coming from a 'moms club' alumni of sorts who in the past 8 or perhaps 9 weeks have moved from CA to NV, living back with mom and dad and my 2 kids, traveled to NY for 4 weeks, returned to NV for 1, now with my in laws for 1 and back to NV for 1, then back in NY for another month---which is 'THE' Christmas month! Where do I begin? (and I didn't even share the move from OR to CA for heaven's sake!)

Honestly, I don't really stress out too bad, and when I do - I wish I could just get out and run it all out! But since that does not happen with a 5&1/2 year old telling me constantly how much she loves high school musical, singing so many tunes, or analyzing our day...(hmm, i wonder where she gets that from) and my almost 2 year old competing with his sister in volume and showmanship 'MOM! Watch THIS MOM WATCH THIS!!!!' Well - there's no time to RUN! Although come to think of it, in NV - I have been making a point of going to swim at least 1 or 2 times a week. We also stick to Library Runs that are followed by some Christmas errands here or there...I also try to include the kids in the 'wrapping' or gift making of things (for example: for the 3 new babies born into our extended familyh - we decorated onesies with fabric ink and the kids relaly loved that! we got the task of gift giving/making done and doing a fun activity w/ the kids all at once!

So - I try to be as much as a 'planner' as possible. Stretching things out on a list (of many) on a calendar...for example - I think this is the earliest time of the year that I have already: 1) baked 5 different batches of cookie dough, it's ready in the freezer to be baked another day 2) I also attempted black friday shopping but limited it to 'target' and the neighboring stores around it which were michael's, nordstrom rack, and pier one...with a quick treat at Krispy Cream soon after! and my 'list' of shopping is DONE! If I can really stick to this - I will have avoided 'over spending', 'over eating' (i hope - of cookies), and now just have the GINGERBREAD House to do! I can't wait!!! (if anyone needs the recipe from last year's extravaganza just ask:)

I'm not sure this answers the ? of sanity savers. But I do often take time to breathe, think about what it is we are celebrating for Christmas and try to think - what have I done today to 'enjoy' this special time...and this may sound corny - but lately the kids and I have very much enjoyed A very Charlie Brown Christmas on TV and I'm looking forward to Rudolph and Frosty too! Thanks to Peggy - we do have the Christmas Carol station on MOST of the time (especially in the car, if H.S. Musical wasn't already requested before I even being to MOVE my car)!

So - if that helps at all - this is how I get through this time and actually enjoy it. I think of those less fortunate than us, those without a home, no family, no one to even think about to share a gift with or afford to buy for...again somewhat cheesy of me to write, but very real. Looking forward to reading other women's thoughts! I have to get to bed!

Sanity Savers

It's not even December and the hum of Christmas-related activity is almost deafening. As if the combination of Christmas shopping, cookie baking, party planning, picture taking, house cleaning, Santa seeking and card sending isn't enough the send you into a frenzy, the holidays always bring forth an array of emotions, both positive and negative, that can send even the sanest among us right over the proverbial edge.
So what can we do to keep it all together while still making the season special for our little ones, and a little special for ourselves as well?
A short little story to illustrate a point: I used to be a teacher. The day before Christmas break was guaranteed to be the most frenectic day of the year. (We used to joke - how could it be both the shortest day of the year and the longest day of the year?) Anyway, one year we had a snow day on that day, the day before break. Parties were cancelled, gifts were left unopened, cookies uneaten and cards unsent. When we came back to school in January, it was business as usual. The box of undelivered cards and gifts on my desk reminded me of how crazy things had been before break. Everything that seemed so important at the time - getting just the right gift, writing just the right thing in the cards, what to wear, what to bake and which of the various parties to attend after school on that last day - seemed both far away and trivial.
From this experience comes my sanity-saver. When things get a little too crazy around here, I remind myself that Christmas is one day. Though it is special and magical, especially as seen through the eyes of a child, it is still only one day out of a 365 special and magical days. In January, it's still business as usual. This little thought helps not overspend and stress out too much.
So, here's the question: What do you do or think about to keep all the holiday craziness in perspective?

To Send or Not to Send...

Recently Collleen asked the question via email, so I thought I would post it here as well: How sick is too sick to send a child to daycare/school, and when do we call his or her bluff? The first issue seems pretty clear but we all know that when the morning arrives and your little one is complaining "I don't feeeeel goooood", it can become a moment of indecision. Vomitting seems like a no-brainer, as does diarrhea, but what about a runny nose? A slight fever? Understandable tiredness after a late night? A rash? A few months ago, I thought a rash was a reason to keep a child quarantined but now my baby is going on week 4 of a rash. After three visits to the doctor, he still says she's fine and it will go away soon and to go on with our lives.

The second issue is, I believe, harder to deal with as a parents and as Colleen has attested, more guilt-inducing: when you don't believe that your child is really sick, but he or she is complaining of illness and wants to stay home. My first reaction is to say, "I don't want to go either but we have to. Get up, get dressed and let's go!" But what if he really is sick and you've just made him push himself and feel more miserable and get even sicker? Of course if you let him stay home, what kind of message are you sending? Here's where the guilt comes in.

Please comment on one or both topics. We'd love advice from teachers and daycare providers as well as all those mothers who have been there, done that. Thanks ladies!

Some Ambivalence; Some Regret

In the four years since Jacob was circumcised, I haven't given it too much thought; although I am told by some people that I was more opinionated about it in the past, I just don't remember that. I'm always talking about how motherhood has such an immediacy to it, that the things which effect us as mothers in the present are the only things we're concerned about. Maybe it's just me though, maybe I have a bad memory, or I'm selfish. The thing is I really don't remember being that passionately against circumcision, but that does sound like me, doesn't it?

When I was pregnant with Jacob I was 22, just finishing college, and so tired. I didn't have the energy to research things like circumcision in great detail and Zach and I were struggling to come to compromises about different parenting issues when we hadn't expected to be parents just yet. Zach wanted our baby circumcised if it was a boy and I did not. But I had to let him win on something, and that was the thing I gave him. It's a stupid excuse, but that's all I've got and I wish I had done it differently because of research I've read since giving birth.

I do have to agree with Laura in that there don't seem to be any lasting traumatic effects Jacob suffered because of his circumcision. I also agree that there's nothing medically necessary about it. It is purely cosmetic, but if pressed I probably couldn't tell you what the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis are (and yes, I still giggle when I say penis).

I recently had to do some 'maintenance' in an unmentionable area on our male rabbit and while it wasn't fun, I got through it. If I can do that to a creature that didn't come from my body, then what is the big deal with cleaning a little gunk from around my own child's penis? Seriously, between changing a poopy diaper and cleaning up fresh vomit, doesn't pulling back the foreskin and wiping away the buildup on my own child sort of pale in comparison? For the record though, unlike in Adrienne's situation, I don't have to pull back the remainder of the foreskin to clean it, perhaps that's just in come cases.

I'm surprised at myself that I don't have lingering guilt about giving permission for my child to be strapped to a circ board like Danielle and Laura described, but I didn't know at the time that's what was done. My doctor never went into detail about it, and I do blame her in part for my lack of education about that topic. She never presented an alternate view which would have given me reason to do that extra research. Simply put, I was young and stupid and should we have another boy in the future, Zach and I will not even consider circumcision.

Why I chose NOT to circumcise

Let me first start out by apologizing if I come off as too strong or opinionated. I am very passionate about this subject and did a great deal of research on it before the Winston’s birth. At first my husband and I disagreed; he was adamant that we should circumcise our son and I was adamant that we shouldn’t. That started the search for evidence to support what I felt in my heart wasn’t right for us or necessary.

I would like to preface what I write with a couple facts. The first is that 80% of the world’s male populations are intact (meaning uncircumcised). The second is that we, as Americans are the only country in the world that practices routine circumcision of our infants for non-regions reasons. We are however changing our ways; our national rate of circumsicon is around 60% (meaning 40% of our population is intact), down from around 80% some 20 years ago. In fact, the AAP found that there was not sufficient evidence of medical advantage to continue recommending routine infant circumcision.

The UTI defense is probably the most widely recognized reason people chose to circumcise. Rates of infant UTI’s in males are around 1/100. I have read numerous different studies that put the increased risk at varying levels. But what the bottom line is as I see it is if there is a small (we are talking 1/10 of 1%) increase in risk, studies have found that breastfeeding and rooming in and other measure negate that risk. On a personal note, I have a cousin, who I am very close with who has a son 2 days after Winston was born. All along she felt strongly that circumsicion was necessary and I felt the complete opposite. When our boys were 6 months old, my cousin’s son developed a UTI infection, not Winston.

I would also like to point out that girls are much more prone to UTIs, but no one suggest female circumcision. In fact whenever I hear things about femal circumcision, they call it genital mutation, and a crime against humanity. Is there really any difference? I believe we as a culture are so numb to what we are doing to our sons. The very thought of female infant cirumscion would make most of use cringe, why is it any different for our sons?

There is also an argument that there is an increased risk of penile cancer and sexually transmitted diseases. The rate of penile cancer in the U.S. is 1/100,000. It is a rare disease that mainly strikes the elderly. The rate of penile cancers in other developed countries where circumcision is rare, such as Denmark, is actually lower. This disputes that medical reason. Studies have found that the increased risk of STDs is mainly a behavioral issue not a circumcision issue.

This is probably the most heartbreaking argument I have. This is what I couldn’t sleep over when thinking about having Winston circumcised. The pain and the experience he would have. Image who have just come from the most comfortable wonderful environment there is. You have brought into this cold, loud, unfamiliar world with only your parents’ comfort to rely on. Less than 24 hours after you are born, you are taken from your mother and tied down by your hands and legs; the only thing you can move is your head. You scream but it doesn’t matter. The doctor then proceeds to cut off a fully functioning, healthy part of your body with little or no anesthetic. Image how that would feel. People argue that infants don’t feel pain like we do. That is completely incorrect. The AAP recognized the extreme pain of circumsicion. It has been documented that and infant has a large increase in blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormones during a circumsicion, comfirming they are in intense pain. Some infant do not cry because the go into shock from the intense pain. The procedure also has lasting effects. The AAP found the circumscied infants have a greater response to vaccine pain at 6 months compared to uncircumscied infants.

There is also an argument that some males will need to be circumscied later in life. Adreinne quoted a rate of 5-10%. There are some studies that quote a rate as low as 6/100,000. It all depends where you get your information. Males who have been circumscied as adults describe a callously feeling left over for the circumscion. Being uncircumscied leaves many sensitive nerve endings intact, leading to greater sexual sensation. One man described sex after circumsicion as being color blind, after being able to see color. There are many reports of the vast difference in sexual satisfaction after circumsicion.

I just wish we, as mother can be the most informed about our decisions. My mother and mother-in-law told me how they were just given something to sign (not a choice) about circumsicion. When Winston was born my OB did not even bring it up. The nurses told me he is against it and will only do the procedure if it is asked for. What a difference in the times. One study found that up to 33% or physccians are against circumsicion.

I think my son is perfect the way he was born; he didn’t need any altering to have a “pretty penis” or keep him clean. In fact he is very easy to keep cleaning, we don’t really have to do much of anything now. I also felt that it shouldn’t really be my decision to permanently alter his body. He can make that decision when is an adult, if HE wants to.

I am curious to hear from our international contributors (Julie, Minerva, Lore, Olga) about your worldly views on circumscion.

Circumcision

On an all-female blog, it was just a matter of time until the topic of dinga-linga-doodles came up. That's right, I'm talking about those little baloney-ponies. Doughnut holders, if you will. Little Colonels. Magic Johnsons. The one-eyed trouser mouse. Are we all on the same page now? Anyway, there has been a request for information and opinions about circumcision.

Although small, there are medical benefits to circumcision. According to "What to Expect the First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg, circumcision reduces the risk of infection of the penis as well as reducing urinary tract infections. It eliminates the risk of phimosis, a painful condition in which the foreskin does not grow along with the child. It is estimated that between 5 and 10 percent of uncircumcised males have to undergo the discomfort of circumcision sometime after infancy due to infection, phimosis or other conditions.

That being said, circumcision is a medical procedure that is not (usually) medically necessary. There is undoubtedly bleeding and pain involved. Some parents wish for their child to make the decision of whether to get circumcised or not when he is older.

So here it is, ladies: Your chance to opine about giggle sticks in a socially appropriate way. Looking forward to your comments!

Internet Sites

Anyone know of any good parent or kid-friendly websites? I'd love to hear recommendations for sites that include:
a) parenting and/or medical information
b) child-centered games or entertainment
c) great places to purchase items online

My personal favorite in the kids category is pbs.org. My son loves the Bob the Builder and Curious George links,and of course Elmo.

My favorite shopping site is LLBean.com. If you have an LLBean credit card (no annual fee, and they occasionally send coupons), you get free shipping and monogramming on all purchases. They usually deliver in 2 or 3 days. If you have any problems, you can call 24/7 and talk to a real person. I log on every so often to check the clearance items.

The other shopping site I would recommend is 1800diapers.com or just diapers.com. They have great prices on most brands of diapers, formula and other baby neccessities. Free shipping on orders over $50, which as you know is like nothing when you're talking diapers and formula. This is an invaluable site for mothers who have recently given birth and are finding it difficult to get out and about.

So how about it, ladies? Please take a few minutes to recommend a few sites either as a new post or a comment on this post. Thanks!

Some ideas...

Here's my two cents, for all it's worth. First of all, I agree with Idona that a time out then a processing conversation is useful. Something like "What did you do to get a time out? How could you have handled it differently?" dialogue. I don't use a certain number of minutes in time out. Some people do 1 minute for a 1-year-old, 2 minutes for a 2-year-old, etc. Some people (OK, my mother) felt that using time out with a 1-year-old was ridiculous, but it did work with my son. He was very social at that age and simply removing him from other people was a punishment to him. I would only use it at that age when he hurt someone, usually pulling hair, and didn't stop after repeated warnings.
Another thing I find useful with my son (age 2) is to explain the appropriate/alternate uses for whatever object he is abusing. He went through a rock-throwing phase and after saying "stop throwing rocks!" 350 times, I finally told him that rocks are for putting in piles. It was that simple. Now he puts rocks in piles.
One more thing that works with my son (for now) is to make up a silly song about whatever he is doing. If I ask him to do something and he says no (which is mostly every time), then I sing the "no song" which goes "My name is Isaac and I like bananas and I like diggers and I like to say no,no, no". We keep going, he sings the no,no,no part and he thinks it's funny and usually does what he is supposed to do. I would caution you about doing this in public, unless of course you are at a MOMS Club function where everyone understands that you are in fact not crazy, just a mother trying to get your kid to behave!
That's about all that is in my bag of tricks. Anyone have ideas for getting kids to leave one activity and go to another, like stop playing outside now and come in and eat lunch? I've resorted to bribing with treats, which I am not proud of and Isaac's eaten his weight in fruit snacks. Also, those of you who use reward systems, at what age did you start? I'd welcome any info you can give me. Thanks!

Dare I Jumpstart This Topic?

I actually would like to first thank Adrienne(A.) for getting this started! Your words so clearly capture I'm sure what MOST of us are encountering on a near daily if not hourly basis! These discipline 'strategies' are completely 'take them at your own will and execution'. I am not a licensed child professional but I do have (I think similar to your feelings A.) an extensive background in early childhood education in music and piano, and there was even a period where I was teaching at the university...but that does seem like EONS ago. (but for the record: 'it' does come back like OH, I am still a very functioning adult! amidst what sometimes feels like a day full of disciplining small children who are ALL mine 24/7...)

Strategy 1: 'Calmly' Recognize, communicate, and label the 'action' that child should not be doing. Suggest an 'alternate action' and IF child chooses to 'not behave'. I have done a 'myriad of things' such as:

*Take away a story at bed time. My older one (5) has 5 stories at bedtime. But if you asked me the 'last time' she had all 5 read to her at bedtime, well, that's been a while. In fact, nights she has 5 ready to go--she is often tired, and chooses to have 3 read to her instead. But this 'warning' of taking stories away, has seemed to work for ages 4-5. And usually we do read stories throughout the day. So it's not like I'm impoverishing my child of books!

Strategy 2: *Time Out & FOLLOW through- in a corner, or chair, but in a consistent location, for the length of the child's age. (ian is currently getting on occasion a time out for 1 minute, which is not completely working? but i'm crossing my fingers that he will get better with time? he also doesn't seem to be 'threatened' by 'THE look' and a 'stern voice'. arrrrrgh.)
The Follow Through part is tough...my child has to be calm, be in a good physical position (sitting up, vs. lying down on the floor or bed and still upset...) and communicate to mom what was not appropriate to do or say. I tell myself I am reinforcing 'communication skills', that it's ok to be mad at mom, but it's not ok to 'hit' or yell but to talk things out. And in the end, there's always a hug and apology! and a sentence that includes "I will try not to do that ' not polite action ' again".

*Strategy 3: "reward system" - I have to admit this DOES not work with me, but at times, my husband (yes, we see him from time to time...ha ha) will 'purchase' something at the 'start of the day' and then 'agree' with child to have 'good behavior'...um, again, this is not my strategy, and my observation is this is not full proof at all!!!! ha ha ha..maybe that can be another blog entry (how husbands discipline...) OH, except at the diner: yes, there's a lollipop there, and you can 'earn it' AFTER breakfast if you cooperate ALL through our stay here at the diner. And 9/10 times, this works!

I feel like the days when I am most frustrated with how 'disclipining' goes, I have to fairly factor in ??how much sleep my kids have had, ??how much i have had, and ??how much time have i spent with the children, and --just how many moms club activities have I been attending? this really wears them out! Did I read books today with them (besides at bedtime?) How many times was I right there on the floor playing with the piles of toys and interacting and creating play with the kids?! And I have definitely tried to 'let go' a little bit more of 'tidying up'. Don't get me wrong, we still have 'pick up time' at the end of the day (sometimes 2x's a day!) and we have 'time to do errands, that I try to keep at the 'earlier part of the day'.

Take these strategies as a grain of salt or as some 'jump starters' to strategies you already do! It's good to be flexible, creative, and to laugh. LAUGH a lot! Sorry for the long soapbox, it's time to get our homeschool morning started! 'the more structured part anyway...'

Looking forward to reading your thoughts/and suggestions soon! -ic

Discipline

Ahhh, the D-word. Discipline is such an easy concept, and yet we all seem to struggle with it at one time or another. It is especially frustrating to me when my children don’t respond to my admonishings. After all, before I became a mother I taught middle school. Discipline was what I did. In 10 years of teaching, I had never had a 7th grader talk back to me when I used my extra-stern “I’m-so-not-playing” voice, and yet my two-year-old finds it hilarious. He actually laughs as he continues the very action that brought about the voice in the first place. My “don’t-even-think-about-it-if you-want-to-live-until-5th-period” look that could stop a middle-schooler dead in his tracks is simply ignored by my son.
I wondered: Could he be hard of hearing? Near-sighted? Have processing issues? Multiple licensed professionals have determined that he in fact is able to see, hear and comprehend. The problem, it seems, is simply that he is a toddler who is learning, growing, exploring, pushing limits, testing boundaries and finding his own way in this big, wonderful world. The solution? That’s where you all come in. Please share with us your best discipline strategies. Try to be as specific as you can. Sometimes it’s a little thing that makes all the difference, so no idea is too big or too small. Thanks, Moms!

I agree, everyone's done a great job describing the preschools. Too bad I didn't have this info before I looked around. Hopefully it will help out those of you with 2 and 3 year olds for next year.
We also started looking late. There was a particular preschool I heard people raving about and it was already full with a waiting list. It was important for me to find a place that was both close to home and that my daughter would find comforatable. I checked out two local ones, one being a Catholic school, the other at a Methodist Church. We both preferred the Catholic School one(they had better toys!), which is where she is currently going. I felt much more comfortable with the staff there. They have two wonderful teachers that have been there for 14 years. Also, my sister's children go to regular school there, so there is a comfort that other family is there. They have play time, as well as gym, art, music. They practice letters everyday and do the normal weather, alphabet, days of the week etc. stuff. They also have to use their manners or they don't get snack, which is important for me.
I never looked into a coop, but a lot of moms seem to really like that. Having just had another child in the last year, I was really looking for somewhere that she could go without me. It helps me in that I can have some alone time with the baby or get errands done with only one child and I think it is good for my daughter to have other adults to listen and learn from for a few hours a week.
Overall, I am thrilled with the preschool. She really enjoys it and is excited to go every M, W, and F. My only negative is that I haven't gotten alot of specific feedback on how she is interacting and doing. The teachers always say she's doing great but it would be nice to talk to them more one on one. We are welcome to go in and observe etc. but I really think she would just cling to me if I was actually there.
Good luck for next year everyone!

Our experience...

I can't really offer advice on night terrors, but my family and I have certainly experienced a broad spectrum of sleep difficulties! For us, Sleep (with a capital S) has always been the most troublesome parenting issue. After reading the description Adrienne posted, what we've been experiencing with Jacob definitely sounds like night terrors. They must have started last year sometime when Jacob was 2+. In the first half of the night at some point Jacob starts crying and moaning (I should mention that he sleeps in bed with Zach and I). We try to comfort him, hold him, ask him what's wrong, but he just cries and cries and tries to get away from us. Eventually he settles down, but not without a lot of stress and aggravation. And he never remembers it the next day.

When they first started happening I assumed it was the feared 'night terrors', but as Jacob got older and could talk about what was happening to him he would sometimes complain of pain on the bottom of his feet or in calves. We would have to rub them (still do) for as long as it would take to go away. You can actually feel these huge cramps in his feet. We thought to make sure Jacob was hydrated and eating enough bananas. I took Jacob to see his doctor, found out he's slightly anemic and began iron supplements, but that didn't really help the problem. I finally had to take him back a couple months ago because it was getting really bad. At this point he was also having a wretched time falling asleep, kicking his legs around and just generally thrashing about (I e-mailed the MOMS Club then because I was at my whits end). I educated myself about Restless Leg Syndrome before seeing the doctor and with that information we decided that Jacob most likely has restless leg.

What we ended up doing after that last visit to the doctor, and a ton of my own research, is this: I gave Jacob melatonin (hormone produced, under normal circumstances, by the pineal gland in the abscence of light) consistently for almost a month - and I was taking it along with him so I would know the effect it had. Usually a bath before bed, but not always. Then a book or two read by Daddy, followed by a lavender massage from Mommy. In the beginning Jacob would sometimes fall asleep during the lavender massage, so relaxed was he. This stuff really helped take the edge off of Jacob's symptoms, and lessened the frequency with which he suffers them, but didn't eliminate them totally.

I still give Jacob melatonin at times when I can tell he's going to have trouble falling asleep, but I've stopped giving it to him every night because I can't find any research on melatonin use in children that was done long-term. Before starting the melatonin I read up on some original research to figure out what I was doing. Below are the little notes that I'd copied from a one of the websites, but I can't remember which one it came from. I have to say though, that after taking it myself and reading up a little more, I think anymore than 2.5 is unnecessary for a child Jacob's age and size. And I can attest that is really helps me fall asleep naturally, as opposed to being knocked out by diphenhydramine or a prescription-strength sleep aid.

Begin at 2.5mg, increasing in 2.5 increments with three days in between. Administer 30-60 minutes before bed.

Purchase only synthetic melatonin, rather than the bovine-derived product, in order to avoid potential exposure to infectious agents.

A voluntary verification program has been developed by the United States Pharmacopeia (USP) to provide consumers with information on the quality of dietary supplements such as melatonin.

The "USP verified" symbol on these products, while not a guarantee of efficacy or safety, indicates compliance with accepted manufacturing practices and standardization of contents.

For the lavender rub I use just a couple drops of pure lavender essential oil mixed with a carrier oil (any kind of vegetable, nut or seed oil) to dilute the highly concentrated lavender. The massage part came from my own intuition that it would help to sooth Jacob's limbs and relax them, so I just go with it and give his little body a rub down wherever I sense he needs it. I should also add that someone recommended chiropractic care to me, and I did have Jacob go one time when my mom already had an appointment. I think it helped a little, but I'd have to take him back again to really know.

Well, I know that's kind of off the immediate topic, but related in a way. I don't know, as I write this I'm wondering if Jacob could have some odd mix of restless leg and night terrors.

Your Child's Bad Dreams

Any advice on what to do when your child has a bad dream? Sleep researcher Richard Ferber says that although nightmares occur during sleep, they reflect the emotional conflicts that take place during the day. For a young child, this could be separation from you, potty-training or recently getting lost in a store. He also says that nightmares are a normal part of growing up and will usually decrease in frequency by age 5 or 6. Of course, this is little comfort to those of us dealing with 2 and 3 year olds who frequently wake up crying in the middle of the night!
There is a difference between nightmares and "night terrors". Nightmares occur in the second half of the night when deep REM sleep occurs. The child wakes after the dream is over, is aware of and comforted by your presence and may have a hard time going back to sleep. Night terrors usually occur 1 to 4 hours after falling asleep. The child screams and thrashes while it is occuring, is not aware of your presence and is difficult to comfort. Although the child is obviously scared and upset, he may resist you. Afterwards though, he is calm and goes back to sleep.
I remember my brother having terrible nightmares. My mother put some water in a spray bottle and called it "Magic Monsters-go-away Potion". Everynight before bed, they would spray it around the house, especially his room and closet. Then he would keep it by his bed all night just in case. This actually worked! It did wonders for the house plants too.
So ladies...any other suggestions for the desparate and tired among us? Any little thing might help. Thanks Moms!

Choosing a Type of Preschool

After talking with so many people whose children started preschool last week, I was wondering how to choose a type of preschool. I imagine that cost and location are huge things to consider, but I was curious about the different ways that preschools are run. For example, do you think co-ops are better than teacher-run programs? What exactly are parents expected to do at the area co-op preschools? I had one friend who cleaned bathrooms regularly, while another friend just served snacks. In general, how flexible are the schools about the hours you help out? Do kids have a harder time starting kindergarten without you if they are used to you being at school with them? If someone could give me the pros and cons of traditional preschools vs. co-ops, that would be great. Thanks, Moms!