Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Family Harmony, or How to Get your Toddler to Stop Body-slamming the New Baby

When I was pregnant with baby #2, I bought my son a doll and a toy stroller. When I cam home from the hospital, he held his baby as I held mine. He changed his baby when I changed mine and he pushed his baby in the stroller, well you get the idea. He loved his baby sister, his dolly and his big-brother status. This little tip passed along to me by my brother-in-law worked like a charm. Until...the baby began to crawl and scream and demand my full and undivided attention. She grabbed his toys. She knocked over his towers. She pulled his hair whenever he was in her arm's reach so holding both of them or sitting both on my lap at the same time became nearly impossible.
Now the baby stands up, holding on to the furniture and the walls, and walks around the house. My son routinely knocks her down whenever he thinks I am not looking. (Of course even if I don't see it happen every time, a crying baby sprawled on the floor and a guilty-faced toddler standing over her is fairly damning evidence.) Usually I pick up the baby and put my son in time out. Then I talk to him about how we love the baby and we don't hurt her. The fact that he repeats the behavior 10 minutes later should have told me that this approach isn't working but Terry Brazleton's column in today's TU told me as much as well. He stresses that you have to acknowledge your toddler's feelings of jealousy and anger toward the baby, not remind him that he loves the baby. By validating his feelings, he can work through them and move on. I will try this new approach the next time he pushes her over, probably in about half an hour.
So, ladies, what strategies do you have for me and all the other moms (and moms-to-be) for increasing family harmony and helping siblings get along?

Stuff to Give and Take

Happy New Year! It seems that this is the season for getting rid of the old to make room for the new. Stacey recently listed some items that she is looking to get rid of and I thought that it would be helpful to keep a on-going list here on our blog. Please specify if you are looking to sell items, give them away or if they are things you are in need of. If someone lists something you are interested in, don't blog back. Instead contact that person directly via email. Also, I think it would be helpful in this case to list your items as "comments" and not "new posts". That way others can just click on this post and see what is there. I hope this helps people find good homes for their stuff, and helps others get some good stuff for not a lot of cash!