Hmmm - this is a challenging one. I mean, this is coming from a 'moms club' alumni of sorts who in the past 8 or perhaps 9 weeks have moved from CA to NV, living back with mom and dad and my 2 kids, traveled to NY for 4 weeks, returned to NV for 1, now with my in laws for 1 and back to NV for 1, then back in NY for another month---which is 'THE' Christmas month! Where do I begin? (and I didn't even share the move from OR to CA for heaven's sake!)
Honestly, I don't really stress out too bad, and when I do - I wish I could just get out and run it all out! But since that does not happen with a 5&1/2 year old telling me constantly how much she loves high school musical, singing so many tunes, or analyzing our day...(hmm, i wonder where she gets that from) and my almost 2 year old competing with his sister in volume and showmanship 'MOM! Watch THIS MOM WATCH THIS!!!!' Well - there's no time to RUN! Although come to think of it, in NV - I have been making a point of going to swim at least 1 or 2 times a week. We also stick to Library Runs that are followed by some Christmas errands here or there...I also try to include the kids in the 'wrapping' or gift making of things (for example: for the 3 new babies born into our extended familyh - we decorated onesies with fabric ink and the kids relaly loved that! we got the task of gift giving/making done and doing a fun activity w/ the kids all at once!
So - I try to be as much as a 'planner' as possible. Stretching things out on a list (of many) on a calendar...for example - I think this is the earliest time of the year that I have already: 1) baked 5 different batches of cookie dough, it's ready in the freezer to be baked another day 2) I also attempted black friday shopping but limited it to 'target' and the neighboring stores around it which were michael's, nordstrom rack, and pier one...with a quick treat at Krispy Cream soon after! and my 'list' of shopping is DONE! If I can really stick to this - I will have avoided 'over spending', 'over eating' (i hope - of cookies), and now just have the GINGERBREAD House to do! I can't wait!!! (if anyone needs the recipe from last year's extravaganza just ask:)
I'm not sure this answers the ? of sanity savers. But I do often take time to breathe, think about what it is we are celebrating for Christmas and try to think - what have I done today to 'enjoy' this special time...and this may sound corny - but lately the kids and I have very much enjoyed A very Charlie Brown Christmas on TV and I'm looking forward to Rudolph and Frosty too! Thanks to Peggy - we do have the Christmas Carol station on MOST of the time (especially in the car, if H.S. Musical wasn't already requested before I even being to MOVE my car)!
So - if that helps at all - this is how I get through this time and actually enjoy it. I think of those less fortunate than us, those without a home, no family, no one to even think about to share a gift with or afford to buy for...again somewhat cheesy of me to write, but very real. Looking forward to reading other women's thoughts! I have to get to bed!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Sanity Savers
It's not even December and the hum of Christmas-related activity is almost deafening. As if the combination of Christmas shopping, cookie baking, party planning, picture taking, house cleaning, Santa seeking and card sending isn't enough the send you into a frenzy, the holidays always bring forth an array of emotions, both positive and negative, that can send even the sanest among us right over the proverbial edge.
So what can we do to keep it all together while still making the season special for our little ones, and a little special for ourselves as well?
A short little story to illustrate a point: I used to be a teacher. The day before Christmas break was guaranteed to be the most frenectic day of the year. (We used to joke - how could it be both the shortest day of the year and the longest day of the year?) Anyway, one year we had a snow day on that day, the day before break. Parties were cancelled, gifts were left unopened, cookies uneaten and cards unsent. When we came back to school in January, it was business as usual. The box of undelivered cards and gifts on my desk reminded me of how crazy things had been before break. Everything that seemed so important at the time - getting just the right gift, writing just the right thing in the cards, what to wear, what to bake and which of the various parties to attend after school on that last day - seemed both far away and trivial.
From this experience comes my sanity-saver. When things get a little too crazy around here, I remind myself that Christmas is one day. Though it is special and magical, especially as seen through the eyes of a child, it is still only one day out of a 365 special and magical days. In January, it's still business as usual. This little thought helps not overspend and stress out too much.
So, here's the question: What do you do or think about to keep all the holiday craziness in perspective?
So what can we do to keep it all together while still making the season special for our little ones, and a little special for ourselves as well?
A short little story to illustrate a point: I used to be a teacher. The day before Christmas break was guaranteed to be the most frenectic day of the year. (We used to joke - how could it be both the shortest day of the year and the longest day of the year?) Anyway, one year we had a snow day on that day, the day before break. Parties were cancelled, gifts were left unopened, cookies uneaten and cards unsent. When we came back to school in January, it was business as usual. The box of undelivered cards and gifts on my desk reminded me of how crazy things had been before break. Everything that seemed so important at the time - getting just the right gift, writing just the right thing in the cards, what to wear, what to bake and which of the various parties to attend after school on that last day - seemed both far away and trivial.
From this experience comes my sanity-saver. When things get a little too crazy around here, I remind myself that Christmas is one day. Though it is special and magical, especially as seen through the eyes of a child, it is still only one day out of a 365 special and magical days. In January, it's still business as usual. This little thought helps not overspend and stress out too much.
So, here's the question: What do you do or think about to keep all the holiday craziness in perspective?
Monday, November 19, 2007
To Send or Not to Send...
Recently Collleen asked the question via email, so I thought I would post it here as well: How sick is too sick to send a child to daycare/school, and when do we call his or her bluff? The first issue seems pretty clear but we all know that when the morning arrives and your little one is complaining "I don't feeeeel goooood", it can become a moment of indecision. Vomitting seems like a no-brainer, as does diarrhea, but what about a runny nose? A slight fever? Understandable tiredness after a late night? A rash? A few months ago, I thought a rash was a reason to keep a child quarantined but now my baby is going on week 4 of a rash. After three visits to the doctor, he still says she's fine and it will go away soon and to go on with our lives.
The second issue is, I believe, harder to deal with as a parents and as Colleen has attested, more guilt-inducing: when you don't believe that your child is really sick, but he or she is complaining of illness and wants to stay home. My first reaction is to say, "I don't want to go either but we have to. Get up, get dressed and let's go!" But what if he really is sick and you've just made him push himself and feel more miserable and get even sicker? Of course if you let him stay home, what kind of message are you sending? Here's where the guilt comes in.
Please comment on one or both topics. We'd love advice from teachers and daycare providers as well as all those mothers who have been there, done that. Thanks ladies!
The second issue is, I believe, harder to deal with as a parents and as Colleen has attested, more guilt-inducing: when you don't believe that your child is really sick, but he or she is complaining of illness and wants to stay home. My first reaction is to say, "I don't want to go either but we have to. Get up, get dressed and let's go!" But what if he really is sick and you've just made him push himself and feel more miserable and get even sicker? Of course if you let him stay home, what kind of message are you sending? Here's where the guilt comes in.
Please comment on one or both topics. We'd love advice from teachers and daycare providers as well as all those mothers who have been there, done that. Thanks ladies!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Some Ambivalence; Some Regret
In the four years since Jacob was circumcised, I haven't given it too much thought; although I am told by some people that I was more opinionated about it in the past, I just don't remember that. I'm always talking about how motherhood has such an immediacy to it, that the things which effect us as mothers in the present are the only things we're concerned about. Maybe it's just me though, maybe I have a bad memory, or I'm selfish. The thing is I really don't remember being that passionately against circumcision, but that does sound like me, doesn't it?
When I was pregnant with Jacob I was 22, just finishing college, and so tired. I didn't have the energy to research things like circumcision in great detail and Zach and I were struggling to come to compromises about different parenting issues when we hadn't expected to be parents just yet. Zach wanted our baby circumcised if it was a boy and I did not. But I had to let him win on something, and that was the thing I gave him. It's a stupid excuse, but that's all I've got and I wish I had done it differently because of research I've read since giving birth.
I do have to agree with Laura in that there don't seem to be any lasting traumatic effects Jacob suffered because of his circumcision. I also agree that there's nothing medically necessary about it. It is purely cosmetic, but if pressed I probably couldn't tell you what the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis are (and yes, I still giggle when I say penis).
I recently had to do some 'maintenance' in an unmentionable area on our male rabbit and while it wasn't fun, I got through it. If I can do that to a creature that didn't come from my body, then what is the big deal with cleaning a little gunk from around my own child's penis? Seriously, between changing a poopy diaper and cleaning up fresh vomit, doesn't pulling back the foreskin and wiping away the buildup on my own child sort of pale in comparison? For the record though, unlike in Adrienne's situation, I don't have to pull back the remainder of the foreskin to clean it, perhaps that's just in come cases.
I'm surprised at myself that I don't have lingering guilt about giving permission for my child to be strapped to a circ board like Danielle and Laura described, but I didn't know at the time that's what was done. My doctor never went into detail about it, and I do blame her in part for my lack of education about that topic. She never presented an alternate view which would have given me reason to do that extra research. Simply put, I was young and stupid and should we have another boy in the future, Zach and I will not even consider circumcision.
When I was pregnant with Jacob I was 22, just finishing college, and so tired. I didn't have the energy to research things like circumcision in great detail and Zach and I were struggling to come to compromises about different parenting issues when we hadn't expected to be parents just yet. Zach wanted our baby circumcised if it was a boy and I did not. But I had to let him win on something, and that was the thing I gave him. It's a stupid excuse, but that's all I've got and I wish I had done it differently because of research I've read since giving birth.
I do have to agree with Laura in that there don't seem to be any lasting traumatic effects Jacob suffered because of his circumcision. I also agree that there's nothing medically necessary about it. It is purely cosmetic, but if pressed I probably couldn't tell you what the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis are (and yes, I still giggle when I say penis).
I recently had to do some 'maintenance' in an unmentionable area on our male rabbit and while it wasn't fun, I got through it. If I can do that to a creature that didn't come from my body, then what is the big deal with cleaning a little gunk from around my own child's penis? Seriously, between changing a poopy diaper and cleaning up fresh vomit, doesn't pulling back the foreskin and wiping away the buildup on my own child sort of pale in comparison? For the record though, unlike in Adrienne's situation, I don't have to pull back the remainder of the foreskin to clean it, perhaps that's just in come cases.
I'm surprised at myself that I don't have lingering guilt about giving permission for my child to be strapped to a circ board like Danielle and Laura described, but I didn't know at the time that's what was done. My doctor never went into detail about it, and I do blame her in part for my lack of education about that topic. She never presented an alternate view which would have given me reason to do that extra research. Simply put, I was young and stupid and should we have another boy in the future, Zach and I will not even consider circumcision.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Why I chose NOT to circumcise
Let me first start out by apologizing if I come off as too strong or opinionated. I am very passionate about this subject and did a great deal of research on it before the Winston’s birth. At first my husband and I disagreed; he was adamant that we should circumcise our son and I was adamant that we shouldn’t. That started the search for evidence to support what I felt in my heart wasn’t right for us or necessary.
I would like to preface what I write with a couple facts. The first is that 80% of the world’s male populations are intact (meaning uncircumcised). The second is that we, as Americans are the only country in the world that practices routine circumcision of our infants for non-regions reasons. We are however changing our ways; our national rate of circumsicon is around 60% (meaning 40% of our population is intact), down from around 80% some 20 years ago. In fact, the AAP found that there was not sufficient evidence of medical advantage to continue recommending routine infant circumcision.
The UTI defense is probably the most widely recognized reason people chose to circumcise. Rates of infant UTI’s in males are around 1/100. I have read numerous different studies that put the increased risk at varying levels. But what the bottom line is as I see it is if there is a small (we are talking 1/10 of 1%) increase in risk, studies have found that breastfeeding and rooming in and other measure negate that risk. On a personal note, I have a cousin, who I am very close with who has a son 2 days after Winston was born. All along she felt strongly that circumsicion was necessary and I felt the complete opposite. When our boys were 6 months old, my cousin’s son developed a UTI infection, not Winston.
I would also like to point out that girls are much more prone to UTIs, but no one suggest female circumcision. In fact whenever I hear things about femal circumcision, they call it genital mutation, and a crime against humanity. Is there really any difference? I believe we as a culture are so numb to what we are doing to our sons. The very thought of female infant cirumscion would make most of use cringe, why is it any different for our sons?
There is also an argument that there is an increased risk of penile cancer and sexually transmitted diseases. The rate of penile cancer in the U.S. is 1/100,000. It is a rare disease that mainly strikes the elderly. The rate of penile cancers in other developed countries where circumcision is rare, such as Denmark, is actually lower. This disputes that medical reason. Studies have found that the increased risk of STDs is mainly a behavioral issue not a circumcision issue.
This is probably the most heartbreaking argument I have. This is what I couldn’t sleep over when thinking about having Winston circumcised. The pain and the experience he would have. Image who have just come from the most comfortable wonderful environment there is. You have brought into this cold, loud, unfamiliar world with only your parents’ comfort to rely on. Less than 24 hours after you are born, you are taken from your mother and tied down by your hands and legs; the only thing you can move is your head. You scream but it doesn’t matter. The doctor then proceeds to cut off a fully functioning, healthy part of your body with little or no anesthetic. Image how that would feel. People argue that infants don’t feel pain like we do. That is completely incorrect. The AAP recognized the extreme pain of circumsicion. It has been documented that and infant has a large increase in blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormones during a circumsicion, comfirming they are in intense pain. Some infant do not cry because the go into shock from the intense pain. The procedure also has lasting effects. The AAP found the circumscied infants have a greater response to vaccine pain at 6 months compared to uncircumscied infants.
There is also an argument that some males will need to be circumscied later in life. Adreinne quoted a rate of 5-10%. There are some studies that quote a rate as low as 6/100,000. It all depends where you get your information. Males who have been circumscied as adults describe a callously feeling left over for the circumscion. Being uncircumscied leaves many sensitive nerve endings intact, leading to greater sexual sensation. One man described sex after circumsicion as being color blind, after being able to see color. There are many reports of the vast difference in sexual satisfaction after circumsicion.
I just wish we, as mother can be the most informed about our decisions. My mother and mother-in-law told me how they were just given something to sign (not a choice) about circumsicion. When Winston was born my OB did not even bring it up. The nurses told me he is against it and will only do the procedure if it is asked for. What a difference in the times. One study found that up to 33% or physccians are against circumsicion.
I think my son is perfect the way he was born; he didn’t need any altering to have a “pretty penis” or keep him clean. In fact he is very easy to keep cleaning, we don’t really have to do much of anything now. I also felt that it shouldn’t really be my decision to permanently alter his body. He can make that decision when is an adult, if HE wants to.
I am curious to hear from our international contributors (Julie, Minerva, Lore, Olga) about your worldly views on circumscion.
I would like to preface what I write with a couple facts. The first is that 80% of the world’s male populations are intact (meaning uncircumcised). The second is that we, as Americans are the only country in the world that practices routine circumcision of our infants for non-regions reasons. We are however changing our ways; our national rate of circumsicon is around 60% (meaning 40% of our population is intact), down from around 80% some 20 years ago. In fact, the AAP found that there was not sufficient evidence of medical advantage to continue recommending routine infant circumcision.
The UTI defense is probably the most widely recognized reason people chose to circumcise. Rates of infant UTI’s in males are around 1/100. I have read numerous different studies that put the increased risk at varying levels. But what the bottom line is as I see it is if there is a small (we are talking 1/10 of 1%) increase in risk, studies have found that breastfeeding and rooming in and other measure negate that risk. On a personal note, I have a cousin, who I am very close with who has a son 2 days after Winston was born. All along she felt strongly that circumsicion was necessary and I felt the complete opposite. When our boys were 6 months old, my cousin’s son developed a UTI infection, not Winston.
I would also like to point out that girls are much more prone to UTIs, but no one suggest female circumcision. In fact whenever I hear things about femal circumcision, they call it genital mutation, and a crime against humanity. Is there really any difference? I believe we as a culture are so numb to what we are doing to our sons. The very thought of female infant cirumscion would make most of use cringe, why is it any different for our sons?
There is also an argument that there is an increased risk of penile cancer and sexually transmitted diseases. The rate of penile cancer in the U.S. is 1/100,000. It is a rare disease that mainly strikes the elderly. The rate of penile cancers in other developed countries where circumcision is rare, such as Denmark, is actually lower. This disputes that medical reason. Studies have found that the increased risk of STDs is mainly a behavioral issue not a circumcision issue.
This is probably the most heartbreaking argument I have. This is what I couldn’t sleep over when thinking about having Winston circumcised. The pain and the experience he would have. Image who have just come from the most comfortable wonderful environment there is. You have brought into this cold, loud, unfamiliar world with only your parents’ comfort to rely on. Less than 24 hours after you are born, you are taken from your mother and tied down by your hands and legs; the only thing you can move is your head. You scream but it doesn’t matter. The doctor then proceeds to cut off a fully functioning, healthy part of your body with little or no anesthetic. Image how that would feel. People argue that infants don’t feel pain like we do. That is completely incorrect. The AAP recognized the extreme pain of circumsicion. It has been documented that and infant has a large increase in blood pressure, heart rate and stress hormones during a circumsicion, comfirming they are in intense pain. Some infant do not cry because the go into shock from the intense pain. The procedure also has lasting effects. The AAP found the circumscied infants have a greater response to vaccine pain at 6 months compared to uncircumscied infants.
There is also an argument that some males will need to be circumscied later in life. Adreinne quoted a rate of 5-10%. There are some studies that quote a rate as low as 6/100,000. It all depends where you get your information. Males who have been circumscied as adults describe a callously feeling left over for the circumscion. Being uncircumscied leaves many sensitive nerve endings intact, leading to greater sexual sensation. One man described sex after circumsicion as being color blind, after being able to see color. There are many reports of the vast difference in sexual satisfaction after circumsicion.
I just wish we, as mother can be the most informed about our decisions. My mother and mother-in-law told me how they were just given something to sign (not a choice) about circumsicion. When Winston was born my OB did not even bring it up. The nurses told me he is against it and will only do the procedure if it is asked for. What a difference in the times. One study found that up to 33% or physccians are against circumsicion.
I think my son is perfect the way he was born; he didn’t need any altering to have a “pretty penis” or keep him clean. In fact he is very easy to keep cleaning, we don’t really have to do much of anything now. I also felt that it shouldn’t really be my decision to permanently alter his body. He can make that decision when is an adult, if HE wants to.
I am curious to hear from our international contributors (Julie, Minerva, Lore, Olga) about your worldly views on circumscion.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Circumcision
On an all-female blog, it was just a matter of time until the topic of dinga-linga-doodles came up. That's right, I'm talking about those little baloney-ponies. Doughnut holders, if you will. Little Colonels. Magic Johnsons. The one-eyed trouser mouse. Are we all on the same page now? Anyway, there has been a request for information and opinions about circumcision.
Although small, there are medical benefits to circumcision. According to "What to Expect the First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg, circumcision reduces the risk of infection of the penis as well as reducing urinary tract infections. It eliminates the risk of phimosis, a painful condition in which the foreskin does not grow along with the child. It is estimated that between 5 and 10 percent of uncircumcised males have to undergo the discomfort of circumcision sometime after infancy due to infection, phimosis or other conditions.
That being said, circumcision is a medical procedure that is not (usually) medically necessary. There is undoubtedly bleeding and pain involved. Some parents wish for their child to make the decision of whether to get circumcised or not when he is older.
So here it is, ladies: Your chance to opine about giggle sticks in a socially appropriate way. Looking forward to your comments!
Although small, there are medical benefits to circumcision. According to "What to Expect the First Year" by Arlene Eisenberg, circumcision reduces the risk of infection of the penis as well as reducing urinary tract infections. It eliminates the risk of phimosis, a painful condition in which the foreskin does not grow along with the child. It is estimated that between 5 and 10 percent of uncircumcised males have to undergo the discomfort of circumcision sometime after infancy due to infection, phimosis or other conditions.
That being said, circumcision is a medical procedure that is not (usually) medically necessary. There is undoubtedly bleeding and pain involved. Some parents wish for their child to make the decision of whether to get circumcised or not when he is older.
So here it is, ladies: Your chance to opine about giggle sticks in a socially appropriate way. Looking forward to your comments!
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