Dare I Jumpstart This Topic?

I actually would like to first thank Adrienne(A.) for getting this started! Your words so clearly capture I'm sure what MOST of us are encountering on a near daily if not hourly basis! These discipline 'strategies' are completely 'take them at your own will and execution'. I am not a licensed child professional but I do have (I think similar to your feelings A.) an extensive background in early childhood education in music and piano, and there was even a period where I was teaching at the university...but that does seem like EONS ago. (but for the record: 'it' does come back like OH, I am still a very functioning adult! amidst what sometimes feels like a day full of disciplining small children who are ALL mine 24/7...)

Strategy 1: 'Calmly' Recognize, communicate, and label the 'action' that child should not be doing. Suggest an 'alternate action' and IF child chooses to 'not behave'. I have done a 'myriad of things' such as:

*Take away a story at bed time. My older one (5) has 5 stories at bedtime. But if you asked me the 'last time' she had all 5 read to her at bedtime, well, that's been a while. In fact, nights she has 5 ready to go--she is often tired, and chooses to have 3 read to her instead. But this 'warning' of taking stories away, has seemed to work for ages 4-5. And usually we do read stories throughout the day. So it's not like I'm impoverishing my child of books!

Strategy 2: *Time Out & FOLLOW through- in a corner, or chair, but in a consistent location, for the length of the child's age. (ian is currently getting on occasion a time out for 1 minute, which is not completely working? but i'm crossing my fingers that he will get better with time? he also doesn't seem to be 'threatened' by 'THE look' and a 'stern voice'. arrrrrgh.)
The Follow Through part is tough...my child has to be calm, be in a good physical position (sitting up, vs. lying down on the floor or bed and still upset...) and communicate to mom what was not appropriate to do or say. I tell myself I am reinforcing 'communication skills', that it's ok to be mad at mom, but it's not ok to 'hit' or yell but to talk things out. And in the end, there's always a hug and apology! and a sentence that includes "I will try not to do that ' not polite action ' again".

*Strategy 3: "reward system" - I have to admit this DOES not work with me, but at times, my husband (yes, we see him from time to time...ha ha) will 'purchase' something at the 'start of the day' and then 'agree' with child to have 'good behavior'...um, again, this is not my strategy, and my observation is this is not full proof at all!!!! ha ha ha..maybe that can be another blog entry (how husbands discipline...) OH, except at the diner: yes, there's a lollipop there, and you can 'earn it' AFTER breakfast if you cooperate ALL through our stay here at the diner. And 9/10 times, this works!

I feel like the days when I am most frustrated with how 'disclipining' goes, I have to fairly factor in ??how much sleep my kids have had, ??how much i have had, and ??how much time have i spent with the children, and --just how many moms club activities have I been attending? this really wears them out! Did I read books today with them (besides at bedtime?) How many times was I right there on the floor playing with the piles of toys and interacting and creating play with the kids?! And I have definitely tried to 'let go' a little bit more of 'tidying up'. Don't get me wrong, we still have 'pick up time' at the end of the day (sometimes 2x's a day!) and we have 'time to do errands, that I try to keep at the 'earlier part of the day'.

Take these strategies as a grain of salt or as some 'jump starters' to strategies you already do! It's good to be flexible, creative, and to laugh. LAUGH a lot! Sorry for the long soapbox, it's time to get our homeschool morning started! 'the more structured part anyway...'

Looking forward to reading your thoughts/and suggestions soon! -ic